It was April. They came in the early afternoon at their usual hour and ordered four gins, two each, to mark the end of their shift and the beginning of endless idle talk at my kiosk. I poured four generous shots and placed them on the counter. It was quite low, and they had to bend a little to grab them. As they did, I saw up close their rough hands, cracked nails covered in black oily dirt mixed with metal filings. Their old boiler suits were marked with large black stains, torn in places and smelly.
I didn’t mind them. They kept my business running, spending hundreds of crowns on booze every day, and they were chatty. It didn’t matter in this town if you looked and were a drunk, as long as you could strike up a conversation and stand a round. And anyway, who am I to judge. Drinking was a way of forgetting – for a while at least – the dirt and back-breaking speed of construction sites, steelworks or the local landfill where most of them worked for peanuts. The booze, instant coffee and loose cigarettes didn’t cost much, so I always had customers.
“Isn’t it interesting that when a guy screws other women,” said the taller of my customers with a confident voice slightly slurred by alcohol, “he is showy about it, gains respect, but when a woman sleeps with another guy, it makes her a whore?”
He was talking to his friend, but his voice was loud as if trying to reach to a broader audience, a couple of street cleaners who were taking a break nearby the kiosk, and me. He wasn’t bad-looking despite the layer of dirt and the receding hair; his body seemed strong with broad shoulders and long legs. I knew he belonged to a group of geezers who were collecting steel from a nearby industrial landfill. People made fun of them and called them thieves; they were the bottom that we all wanted to avoid, or almost the bottom in any case.
The other man was a bit shorter and had sad eyes. Listening to their conversations daily, I noticed he would get drunk faster and quickly proceed to share one of his unhappy love stories, of which he seemed to have plenty. He struck me as someone who indulged in self-pity, but I barely saw him sober, so maybe it was just the effect of the shots. This time, they were not talking about his love life but about someone else’s, and not so much about love really. He hesitated for a moment as if pondering what makes a woman a “whore”:
“Yeah but she didn’t really sleep with another guy, someone just did it to her.”
“Yeah, disgusting, the whole thing gives me the creeps.”
She was a woman who passed the square with my kiosk several times a day. I felt sorry for her. Not many people knew what her name was except for the dustmen, who referred to her as Elena. The rest just called her she. Hardly older than 30, she walked like a hunchback, hid her short curls underneath an old beret, and carried a faint smile. When she appeared one day wearing plastic bags on her feet, somebody asked her:
“What happened with your shoes?”
“These are my shoes, aren’t they nice?”
We all knew her by sight; she wandered the town in dirty clothes, carrying lots of plastic bags filled with Tetrapaks, empty bottles, containers of different sizes and other crap. When she filled the bags up, she would leave them at random places. Always neatly packed with the items sorted: one bag for plastic bottles, another for glass, aluminium cans and another for paper cups. I once overheard her explaining to one of the dustbin collectors that she was helping them. He didn’t see it that way and later joked about her with his colleagues when they were having coffee at the kiosk.
Women were generally kinder to her. We knew that it might happen to any of us, and anxiously observed her from a distance. Several stories went around the town about how she became homeless. People said that she was quite pretty back in the day, dark-eyed with bouncy black curls, well-built and funny. Even now you could still see some of her beauty behind the torn clothes and dirt. Back in the days she worked in the centre of the town, sweeping the streets and clearing the small dustbins fitted to metal poles or lamp posts in the pedestrian area and a network of neighbouring streets. Then something happened to her. One of the street cleaners told me that she had a bloke and got pregnant. While the baby was still very young, the bloke kicked her out. The street cleaner thought he most probably found someone else. For a few weeks she slept on sofas at various people’s, but nobody wanted her to stay for very long. She started sleeping rough, often on a warm manhole behind the cultural centre a few hundred metres away from my kiosk. The boiler-suit drunks, my regulars, said there were several people sleeping there – the shorter one with sad eyes also used to live there, until he started collecting metal and made enough money to pay for a cheap hostel.
After not very long, the baby was spotted by the social services – or perhaps somebody reported her, as this city is full of snitchers. They took it away from her; the street is not a good place for a baby, after all, and that was more than she could handle – she went completely crazy. Since then she has been living on the streets, talking very little, and if she does talk, it’s without making much sense, collecting rubbish, hands dirty up to her elbows, absent smile on her face. It has been years now. I saw her regularly passing by the kiosk. Once her trousers were completely ripped at the back showing her underwear. She got pitying looks from workers rushing back home after the end of their shifts, and merciless laughter from the good-for nothing youth lazing around the benches on the central square drinking cheap fruit wine from the supermarket.
This was more than two years ago.
But then in spring Elena started showing a belly, which grew bigger with time. Mila, one of the few women among the street cleaners who knew her from the past, examined the belly and noted it was solid. In September she looked due. The pregnancy and imminent labour became the main conversation topic among us, the people of the street. Once a woman from the greengrocers’ came for a chat and we both saw Elena passing by. The greengrocers’ woman got all emotional and started sobbing:
“Did you see that… I just don’t understand… How, how can someone? What now…”
I gave her a shot of rum to settle her down. But I felt the same unease. The sweepers, my drunks, the dustbin collectors, the construction workers fixing the gas pipelines, the fortune-teller from the main square, all continued to speculate on why and who. The men not bothering to disguise their disgust. Although when they came alone, and not in their drinking hordes, they would sometimes tell me they felt sorry for her. Will she really have a child?
She sometimes came to my kiosk to buy cheap lemonade. On her good days, she would tell me:
“I’m going to have a baby you know. But I worry they would take it away from me. I won’t allow that, no, no…!” she’d cry.
But more often than not her grasp of reality was weaker and she tried to order gin.
“You are pregnant; I won’t sell you alcohol now,” I told her, but got only a faint smile in response. And then in October, Elena disappeared.
“It was during Dan’s afternoon shift, he saw her groaning with pain, a small puddle of water underneath her, so he called the ambulance,” the taller of the boiler-suit drunks said and ordered another two rounds.
“She’ll be all right. I wouldn’t want to be that midwife!” he added, grinning as he downed one shot after another.
“Yeah, I bet they had to burn her clothes.”
“It’s not funny, you two sound like idiots. You know well this could happen to any of us – you two especially.” Short old Mila, who was resting her cart near the kiosk while having a short cigarette break, frowned at the drunks. She didn’t wait for their reply, finished her fag and pushed her cart away.
We saw Elena again after a few weeks. They must have cut her hair in the hospital. It was short now and spiky. She wore the same shy smile and layers of plastic bags instead of shoes. She came to the kiosk to buy a cigarette. I picked out a couple of loosies and added a chocolate bar as a present. Wrapped in lawyers of old dark clothes, she slowly took her treats and lingered for a while. I could see that the belly was gone.
“Are you all right? I haven’t seen you for a while.”
She looked past me with her absent-minded smile. “Yes, life is good, life is good.”
The short story was published in The Sociological Review in November 2022: https://thesociologicalreview.org/fiction/elena/